2010 is less than one week away. I sit in my warm and cozy front room, in front of my big screen TV (62 inch..no not a plasma), typing away on my laptop. I look outside and the snow is falling in large, heavy flakes. At least six inches adorn the railings on my deck and drive and that is even after we have cleaned things off.
I look towards my garage, but alas, still no flying car. I had thought by 2009/2010 I’d get my flying car. Of course, every year that passes is one year closer to its existence, but I may have to use it to go to and from the nursing home at this rate. All these things, while important cannot replace the one thing that truly inspires me. LOST and GILLIGAN’S Island.
My life is more like an episode of LOST, trying to break out of an existence that at times feels like it is ticking by and needs me to reset it every so many hours to make sure I don’t blow up! And sometimes, my life is like Gilligan’s Island, still LOST but at least sometimes it’s funny!
LOST and Gilligan’s Island have provided many life lessons for me. Here are a few of the things I’ve learned:
1. Always remember, life is either like Gilligan’s Island or LOST:Always make sure you have one guy as brave and smart as the Professor, or as willing to take charge as John (and he’s good with knives which comes in handy from time to time).
2. Comic Relief is absolutely necessary to survival: Make sure you hang with Gilligan or Hugo when in the need for a laugh to help you escape the seriousness of the situation in which you find yourself.
3. Always carry MAKEUP with you wherever you go. It will come in handy for Seducing guards from a hostile group of marauders or if you need to put on a stage show to break the monotony of being a castaway.
4. Always carry extra sweet stuff and make sure you acquire a taste for Coconut. Sugar is in short supply when stuck on an island and Coconut is gonna have to suffice for that piece of FUDGE you may long for at Christmas Time.
5. Learn how to make a radio out of broken pieces of equipment. If I had a nickel for every time I saw old radios from planes or batteries lying around on a beach, we’d be able to rent a water taxi and get off the island.
6. Learn to Swim and Snorkel. I don’t excel at either and need to bone up on them both. Everyone knows that the only way to survive is to enjoy that surf and not to succumb to just lying on the beach and getting skin cancer.
7. Always carry LOTS of Bug Spray. While I’ve seen few people on either island swatting at sand fleas or mosquitoes I’ve seen SURVIVOR enough to know that there are some NASTY bugs out there and bug spray will make your unwanted stay on a remote island much more pleasant…
8. Plans for building boats/housing from Palm Fronds and cane and how to turn Regular Sand into Cement. I’m jussayin!
9. Carry Toilet Paper! Good LORD how many Palm leaves must one have to suffer through? Course, this said, one hopes that there is an actual toilet….uh or someone to dig a latrine. A good burned out tree with a hole in the middle of tree rings can suffice as a toilet substitute, but someone HAS to dig the hole for the stuff to sink into.
10. Carry Salt and Pepper…I’m sorry but fish gets real old if one does not carry Salt and Pepper or at least find lemons on the island so one can have SOME sort of flavorings….
12. Don’t be annoying. If you are alone on the island, well, then forget this one, but if at least one other person exists try to behave yourself and not become like Gilligan, cause being alone may be a better option for them than putting up with someone like Gilligan!
I know there are so many more points to make on this, however, dwelling on being on a deserted island is becoming its own kind of hell. So I’ll leave you to come up with your own list of things you’d need!